Thursday, June 7, 2012

Energy Drink Review


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Battery Energy Drink

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PriceSize$/OzServsOz/ServCalsCarbsSod
$1.7511.2oz.$0.161.011.2oz.16538g0mg
Battery Energy Drink review added 2012-06-06 12:06:47
Available at: Amazon Online Store


Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating: 6.5 out of 10
User Rating: This item has not been reviewed Rate this beverage:
0.00 out of 10 from 0 reviewers


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Jason's Review:


Last week, I think there was a national epidemic of angry pubescent boys, raging about their love for Monster products. I'm surprised they have time to hunt down my reviews and send me poorly-contrived rebuttals and insults, wrought with misspelling, amidst all their internet porn surfing and watching Justin Bieber videos. Everyone knows what you're doing with your sister's Barbie dolls, and not even California is ok with it.

So, to avoid getting feedback from the miscreants, I traveled to Finland for a taste of a product they will probably never see in convenience stores (and even if they do, they won't drink it, because it's not Monster). Battery Energy Drink is a 33cl energy drink which we found is extremely difficult to get into the US. We believe authorities were suspect of me trying to convince the general public to adopt a base 10 measurement system. I mean, who doesn't want the convenience of remembering that there are 4 quarts in a gallon, 5280 feet in a mile or 240 pence in a pound?

Battery Energy isn't a bold deviation from Red Bull. The primary differences being that Battery doesn't seem as sweet or thick, and is more tart. I think Battery is easier to drink, and doesn't make my teeth as furry as Red Bull. Additionally, unlike when I'm finished drinking Red Bull, my gut doesn't feel like I just ate half a bag of Halloween candy.

The active ingredients seem about the same as Red Bull: caffeine, taurine, calories and some B vitamins. The Battery can has some other words, written in some form of reindeer elvish, which I can't read, but have to assume may also be active ingredients.

Battery is available in 24 packs for $42 on Amazon.com. It is Amazon Prime eligible, so you can even have it shipped 2-day for free, if you're a Amazon Prime member, which I highly recommend everyone be. On a closing note, for those who don't know, I'm a big fan of Amazon for telling NC where to stick their asinine affiliate tax legislation. We're approaching the third anniversary of that legislation, somehow the nonsense has not yet been repealed. NC costs me, and by way of my income taxes, the state of NC a great deal of money. I applaud Amazon for sticking to their principles, and I abhor NC for their half cocked ill-contrived legislation, which has cost screamingenergy.com thousands of dollars over the past 3 years. So, join Amazon Prime, buy everything from them, and if you're a NC resident, I strongly discourage you from voting for anyone who voted for the nexus legislation. In their foolish political greed, they attempted to strong arm successful industry and squeeze pennies from well-managed Amazon assets into their bloated, poorly managed, ineffectual state budget coffers. What they actually did was cost many NC business owners like myself a substantial part of their income when Amazon ceased doing business with NC affiliates in response, and other NC residents the taxes we paid on the income we were previously making. The most counter-intuitive legislation of all time. Repeal the laws, and apologize to the people of NC for your foolishness. Whew...I must be going through puberty.

Jason Energy Rating: 6
Jason Taste Rating: 6
Jason Value Rating: 6

Guest Reviewer: Reviews posted before May 2007 were written by Angie
Maybe I don't have the refined taste buds of a respected wine taster, but without tasting them side-by-side, I can't tell you a single difference between Battery and Red Bull on taste and energy. So, we won't focus on what's the same.

What I will focus on is that Battery is about 3Fl. Oz. larger than Red Bull. More practically, it's not in the stupid tall/skinny can, so this drink will not tip over in a pre-2005 car cupholder (the ones that don't adjust to drip anything). In addition to getting the extra dink, you can get these larger cans delivered to your house for $1.75 each from Amazon. So, if you like Red Bull, and you can't get Red Bull for less than $1.50, with the convenience of it being delivered in mass to your doorstep, I think Battery is clearly superior.

Angie Energy Rating: 7
Angie Taste Rating: 6
Angie Value Rating: 7

Active Ingredients:
Battery Energy Drink's text is in Finnish, so I'm guessing that these translations of ingredients are correct. Also, all the measurements are per liter, not per can or serving. Taurine 4g, caffeine 320mg, niacin 8mg, pantotensyra 2mg, vitamin b6 1.8mg, vitamin b2 0.6mg, vitamin b12 1(upside down h)g. From what I can surmise, the only per can measurement is 165 calories and 38g of carbs. I don't see it listed on the can, and per the information the company supplied me, this appears to contain 0 sodium, which I'm not sure is correct.

Can Text:
Battery Energy Drink comes in a mostly black can that looks something like a Duracell battery. The text colors are gold and white. The front reads, "Battery" in gold, with a bit white plus sign preceeding it. Also, "Energy Drink" in white, then "33cl, 11.2 FL. OZ.". All the other text appears to be in Finnish.

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Battery Energy Drink taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Battery Energy Drink?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.

Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy

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PriceSize$/OzServsOz/ServCalsCarbsSod
$2.0015.5oz.$0.132.07.75oz.505g30mg
Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy review added 2012-05-22 16:38:12
Available at: Gas Station Near Charlotte NC


Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating: 6.5 out of 10
User Rating: Rate this beverage:
6.34 out of 10 from 14 reviewers


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Jason's Review:


Today we're reviewing the third of four Monster Rehab tea, energy re-hydration drinks. This one contains 15g of protein per can, so they cleverly named it "Protean Plus Energy". You see what they did there?

The protein plays the biggest role in my enjoyment of this drink, or lack thereof, but we'll get back to that. The tea flavor isn't pronounced at all. The initial flavor is more akin to a watered down berry beverage than tea. As I'm chugging it down, it seems light and refreshing. Then, like Jim Jones Kool- Aid, the secret ingredient rears it's ugly head.

Too soon?

For me, the protein collects into some gelatinous bit that resembles the chewier parts of an oyster. Then there's a dry chalky after sensation, like I've been drinking Parmesan cheese. In short, Monster executed 15g of protein in their energy tea far less successfully than Xapp executed 25g of protein in their caffeinated protein energy drink. As a result, this is my least favorite Monster Rehab drink, and my least favorite protein energy drink.

Like all Monster carbonated drinks, coffee and tea products, I've got no problems with the energizing ingredients. As for value, almost every convenience store in my area have these priced at $2.49, but, despite having no signs about a sale or promotion, without fail, when I get to the counter, the attendant is like, "You know, those are 2/$4?". To which I respond, "An obvious assumption, since I'm holding 1 for $2.49. I'd also like to pay MSRP for this Ace of Base CD I picked up from your $3 music and pork skins trough". I'm fine with Rehab drinks for $2, but my preference is always going to be the lemonade flavor.

In closing, since everyone gets sand in their craw when I badmouth Monster, I want to reiterate that the whole "Vegas Pool Party" drivel on the back of the can barely deserves a passing grade as a final project in a freshman intro to marketing class.

Jason Energy Rating: 8
Jason Taste Rating: 6
Jason Value Rating: 7

Guest Reviewer: Reviews posted before May 2007 were written by Angie
I commend Monster for bringing a Protein energy drink to the market, albeit, after Xapp Protein Energy with Caffeine, less energizing than Xapp, with a less savory taste than Xapp, and with protein that doesn't go down as smoothly as Xapp. But, and this is where Monster trumps Xapp (sarcasm, btw) it's usually 10 cent cheaper, and it has tea in it. Oh, actually, I know why it's better, it contains Goji berry, an ingredient also found in Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink, perhaps the worst energy drink ever made.

Seriously though, not impressed. As the Monster Rehab carnival rolls through town, and I try more of them, I'm more convinced they should have left well enough alone with the original Lemonade Arnold Palmer Tea ripoff they came out with last year. I've had all of the flavors except the Orangeade, which I've yet to see available in my geographic area, and they have been less appealing in the order I've had them. Firstly, and most enjoyably the Lemonade Tea, secondly, and certainly drinkable the Rojo, thirdly, and becoming unsavory, Green Tea, lastly, this mess, the Protean protein tea. I'm not particularly looking forward to Orangeade, but it's probably better than the last two, and I can't imagine it not being better than Rockstar Iced Peach Tea, which I've had and didn't enjoy, but have not yet reviewed.

In either case, the protein is just there, I don't see how you can avoid it. About half way through the can, it felt like I had an enormous loogie in the back of my throat. The aftertaste was more of an aftertingle. I haven't had Teaberry gum in years, but something about either the taste or the aftertaste of Monster Rehab Protean brings Teaberry gum to mind. This drink is not completely offensive, but it's one of my least favorite Monster drinks, and I've never needed 15g of protein enough to choke down the chunky protein buildup.

I believe $2 (which is the price we're reviewing these, as apparently there's an undocumented universal 2 for $4 sale on these) is a fare price for Monster Rehab drinks. I can't imagine a lot of people who aren't involved in bodybuilding or fitness caring a great deal about the protein, and I neither imagine a great deal of people finding this flavor more appetizing than the others. Additionally, the extra 40 calories per serving should turn away a lot of people interested in Rehab's otherwise mainstay 10 calorie value proposition.

Angie Energy Rating: 7
Angie Taste Rating: 5
Angie Value Rating: 7

Active Ingredients:
Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy lies and says it contains 2 (240ml/8fl. oz.) servings (meanwhile the contents of the can are listed as 15.5 fl.oz. (458ml)), which contains mg/% USRDA (whichever is available, or both, if listed) of the following: Caloris 50, Carbs 5g/2%, Sugars 4g, Protein 8g/8%, Vitamin B3 20mg/100%, Vitamin B5 10mg/100%, Vitamin B6 2mg/`00%, Vitamin B12 6mcg/100%, Calcium 18mg/2%, Phosphorus 250mg/25%, Magnesium 13mg/3%, Sodium 30mg/2%, Potassium 50mg/1%, Taurine 1g, Panax Ginseng 200mg. Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy also contains a 3.2g energy blend comprised of undisclosed amounts of the following: Glucose, White Tea Extract, Black Tea Extract, Caffeine, Prickly Pear Extract, Concentrated Coconut water, Quercetin, Inositol, Glucuronolactone, L-Carnitine, Goji Berry Extract, Acai Extract, Yerba Matte, Guarana.

Can Text:
Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy comes in a can similar to the original Monster Rehab Tea Plus Lemonade. The obvious differences are that this can is blue instead of yellow. Additionally, where lemonade tea touts its 10 calories, Protean touts it's 15g of protein. The theme of the sophomoric motivational blurb on the back, is the same, the in(un)famous "Vegas Poor Party". Why not just write some garbage on the can about my sister-in-law's annual family fourth of July party? At least they have tea, and most likely, more people actually know about it. In either case, here's their dumb text, "After raging all night, our friends at the Vega Rehab pool party are always looking fresh poolside the next day. Not wanting to be outdone, we created Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy. Combining the recovery benefits of protein (no inferior soy here) with the hydration and energy you need to recharge. Monster Rehab Protean packs a triple threat that quenches thirst, hydrates like a sports drink, and brings you back after a hard day's night. Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy: Refresh, Re-Hydrate, Re-Vive or in other words, Re-habilitate with a hiller mix of tea, protein, electrolytes, and our bad-ass Monster Rehab energy blend to fire you up. Rehab the Beast!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry for humanity.

Other Monster Products

Monster Energy Lo-Carb
Monster Energy XXL
Monster Khaos Energy Juice
Monster Assault
Java Monster Coffee Energy Mean Bean
Java Monster Coffee Energy Loca Moca
Java Monster Coffee Energy Big Black
Java Monster Coffee Energy Lo-Ball
Monster Mixxd Energy Juice
Java Monster Tea Energy Chai Hai
Monster Hitman
Nitrous Monster Super Dry
Java Monster Coffee Energy Nut-Up
Monster Energy Dub Edition
Monster Energy Absolutely Zero
Monster M-80 Energy Juice
X-Presso Monster Hammer
Monster Rehab Tea Lemonade Energy Drink
Monster Import
Monster Rehab Rojo Tea Energy Drink
Monster Ubermonster Energy Brew
Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Monster Rehab Protean Plus Energy?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.

Sheets Energy Strips

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PriceSize$/OzServsOz/ServCalsCarbsSod
$4.990.1oz.$49.95.00.02oz.00g0mg
Sheets Energy Strips review added 2012-05-15 13:22:13
Available at: Dick's Sporting Goods


Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating: 7.5 out of 10
User Rating: Rate this beverage:
7.00 out of 10 from 2 reviewers


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Jason's Review:


About a month ago, I was in Dick's Sporting Goods and I got the sheets. Since then, I've taken a sheet at the table, my desk, the kitchen sink, and in a stairwell. The sheets look like tiny fruit rollups, they taste bitter, dissolve rather quickly, and are as energizing as most mainstream 2oz. Energy shots.

Let's start with the delivery method. Sheets energy strips are very much like fruit rollups. You peel open a metallic package that's roughly the size of a business card. Inside is a much smaller red rectangular bit that looks like a delicious chewy fruit snack. You can't always judge a book by it's cover, then again, Madonna looks like the crypt keeper dressed as a transvestite prostitute, so sometimes the cover is a dead giveaway. In this case, it's not. Sheets energy strips are cinnamon flavor, but after that wears off, you'll get a powerful bitter, albeit short-lived, caffeine aftertaste. In my opinion, far more palatable than a vast majority of the energy shots, namely 5-hour energy.

I love energy drinks, so convenience is one of the only reasons for me to drink energy shots. Some people like that energy shots are usually sugar free, additionally, some people don't like the taste of energy drinks. I'm in neither of those camps. In any of these three cases, I consider sheets superior to most energy shots. Concerning convenience, I could carry like 200 of these in my laptop bag. Unlike 2oz. Energy shots, I can even carry these in my pant pocket without awkward social interactions, laden with sexual innuendos. For the diabetics and anorexics, you will find sheets equally as sugar free, and comparably savory.

I cannot perceive a significant difference between the effectiveness of taking one Sheet and a 2oz. 5-hour energy shot. If one Sheet is not enough, the Sheets packaging says to take 1-3 for desired energy level. As an added bonus, these come in boxes of 10, and we paid $5 for a box. So, even if you take 3 (which is about 2 Red Bulls worth of caffeine), you've only invested $1.50, a fraction of the $2.99-$3.29 for which most retail stores are currently raping 5-hour energy customers.

**Correction, the video says 4x the caffeine of a Red Bull, this was our failure to see that Sheets's serving size is 2 Sheets.

At first, I was skeptical of Sheets, but after using it for several days, it's one of the most convenient and portable energy delivery methods, the tastes is above average for condensed energy products, and it delivers a reasonable energy boost at a fraction of the cost of comparably energizing products.

Jason Energy Rating: 7
Jason Taste Rating: 8
Jason Value Rating: 9

Guest Reviewer: Reviews posted before May 2007 were written by Angie
Jason and I differ on one key point with Sheets Energy Strips, the aftertaste. I find it pronounced and lingering. I quite enjoy the cinnamon flavor, but after about 5 seconds, it's all bitter chewable aspirin flavor for the foreseeable future.

Everyone here thought Sheets were logically 1 strip per serving, until I wrote the "active ingredient" section. How lame can you get? 1 serving is 2 strips. Anyway, so, we all agreed that this is still an effective product, and comparable in effectiveness to most energy shots, even with 1 strip. The value proposition, compared to industry leaders like 5-hour energy, is still quite strong. Additionally, these are superior to almost any other product than DynaPep in convenience and transportability.

Particularly for travel, camping, hiking, biking, concerts, sporting events, etc., this is one of the best products on the market. Easy to put in your pocket, take it if you need it, otherwise, save it for later. Lots of convenient places to store it, a reasonable pick-me-up and for most people, you can probably get comparable energy to the product you're currently using at about 1/3 of the price.

Angie Energy Rating: 7
Angie Taste Rating: 6
Angie Value Rating: 9

Active Ingredients:
Sheets Energy Strips contains 5 (2 Sheets strips) servings which contains mg/% USRDA (whichever is available, or both, if listed) of the following: Calories 0, Sugar 0, Carbs 0, Vitamin E Acetate 12mg/40%, Vitamin B6 4mg/200%, Vitamin B12 12mcg/200%, Biotin 60mcg/20%, Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5) 10mg/100%, Caffeine Anhydrous 100mg.

Can Text:
Sheets Energy Strips come in a red box, with a smiley face guy looking like he's taking a hit of acid. It says, "The NEW way to do ENERGY!". Also, textually on the front of the Sheets Energy Strip box, "Cinnamon Rush", "B Vitamins, 0 Cal, 0 Sugar, No Crash", "10 Individually Wrapped Strips", "Dietary Supplement". On the back of the box, the sales pitch reads, "Sheets are the NEW way to do energy. Fast, pocketable and powerful. Sheets have NO sugar, NO calories, loads of B Vitamins and a refreshing kick! Why drink your energy? Take a Sheet!". Then there's the recommended use, "Place on tongue. Take 1-3 Sheets for desired energy level. Do NOT exceed 4 Sheets in any 3-hour period. Dissolves fast for easy swallowing. A serving of Sheets (2 sheets strips) contains caffeine comparable to a cup of the leading premium coffee". Then there's even more text, "Sheets help restore mental alertness or wakefulness when experiencing fatigue or drowsiness. CAUTION: In some people, caffeine may cause nervousness, sleeplessness and occasional rapid heartbeat. Please do not consume caffeine while pregnant, nursing or if you are under 12 years of age". Lastly, they clarify that "No crash means no sugar crash". They might as well say, "no unicorns means no trolls on flying unicorns".

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Sheets Energy Strips taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Sheets Energy Strips?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.

Red Bull Total Zero

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$2.191.0oz.$2.191.01oz.00g60mg
Red Bull Total Zero review added 2012-04-30 11:27:36
Available at: Food Lion near Charlotte, NC


Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating: 3 out of 10
User Rating: Rate this beverage:
4.10 out of 10 from 10 reviewers


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Jason's Review:


I haven't had a sugar free Red Bull in nearly a decade. Yesterday, I found Red Bull Total Zero at the store. Now, I don't remember how bad Sugar Free Red Bull was, but I can't imagine it's anywhere nearly as sickening as Red Bull Total Zero. This Red Bull tastes like someone put a twist of grapefruit into sea water. The amazing part is, it's not very high in sodium, so I have no idea what makes it taste like something with which you'd clean your contacts. Everything about it tastes "chemical". If I was given this product in a blind taste test, the tart bite and unpleasant aftertaste are the only thing that would make me guess it's part of the Red Bull franchise. We've never sung the praises of Red Bull, at least the carbonated mess we get here in the states, with that in mind, this is still, by far, the worst of the Red Bull energy drinks.

With a puny smattering of vitamins, and barely enough caffeine to keep me from getting a withdrawal headache, I can't help but reiterate, as we have so many times, that Red Bull is one of the worst energy products on the market. Let's pretend for a second that Red Bull wasn't less effective than taking a B-Complex daily vitamin with a 12oz. Glass of Coke, and that Coke doesn't taste infinitely better, even then, $2.19 is about $1 overpriced. In its current state, Red Bull Total Zero is about $2.19 overpriced.

Viewers and readers, I'm begging you, stop throwing money away on Red Bull. It's an inferior product in every way. At the time of this review, none of the following companies are paying me to say this, but if you want a carbonated drink that tastes great and gives you energy, all of these (in no particular order) are better, in every way than Red Bull:

Jolt Blue or Power Cola
Bawls Guarana
Power Trip's entire product line
NOS Grape
pretty much any Rockstar
Crunk!!!
Monster (any of them besides Mixxd, Assault and Khaos)
any Rip-It
Joker Mad Energy (which are sometimes at Big Lots, and are pretty much repackaged Monster)
Vault
Mountain Dew
Caffeine Free Diet Coke
and even Amway's XS Energy products

Pretty much just buy anything but Red Bull. I'd say, the only product that isn't better is Wat-aah! $1.50 water.

Jason Energy Rating: 4
Jason Taste Rating: 3
Jason Value Rating: 2

Guest Reviewer: Reviews posted before May 2007 were written by Angie
At least Red Bull is sparing in their release of useless product, unlike Monster, which isn't afraid to release a bad product directly out of the R and D, without even testing to see if the average consumer can open the container. So sparing is Red Bull, that Red Bull Cola, which came out about 3 years ago, is one of the few Red Bull variations, and I believe was the best product they've ever made. It tasted great, was 12oz., had attractive packaging, and was about 25% cheaper than regular Red Bull. On the other hand, their other endeavor, the Red Bull Energy Shot was a $3 calamity. Total Zero is unique in that it's the first addition to the original Red Bull line of drinks (meaning it's the same base flavor formula, like Monster Absolutely Zero to Monster Lo-Carb.

I'm going to start by saying, unless you're so diabetic that you die when you consume 3g of carbs, there's no reason to buy Red Bull Total Zero. Everything about it is bland and pointless. The can is warm and welcoming as a winter day in the famine-stricken Soviet Bloc. The contents of the can aren't must more pleasant. Adding Red Bull Total Zero to the mix changes the old Red Bull line up from, "the drinkable one, and the bad one" to "the drinkable one, the bad one, and the undrinkable one". For those who complain regular Red Bull is overtly sweet, this is the only possible selling point for Total Zero. I think Total Zero taste mostly bitter. That's not to say it isn't laden with artificial sweetener, it just lacks that thick, candy-sweet characteristic of regular Red Bull. I can't taste much difference in the base flavor, tart and unpleasant, just like the others.

I don't even feel like we need to talk about price. This drink is $2.19. It's as much a rip off as investing in 1987 topps or 1989 fleer baseball cards. The energy level is minimal, even for a lightweight.

Angie Energy Rating: 3
Angie Taste Rating: 4
Angie Value Rating: 2

Active Ingredients:
Red Bull Total Zero contains 1 (8.4fl oz/250ml) servings which contains mg/% USRDA (whichever is available, or both, if listed) of the following: Calories 0, Fat 0g, Sodium 60mg/3%, Carbs 0g, Sugars 0g, Protein less than 1g, Niacin 100%, Vitamin B6 250%, Vitamin B12 80%, Pantothenic Acid 50%. Lastly, "Caffeine content: 80 mg/ 8.4fl oz." To be read, "slightly more than no caffeine".

Can Text:
Red Bull Total Zero comes in a can with a design identical to the original, icon Original Red Bull Fizzy Drink, the difference being the vibrant blue has been replaced with a bland, lifeless metallic grey, an omen of things to come. Even though I think they're the same, this color change even makes the yellow and red in the logo not "pop" as much. The can just looks lifeless next to the other two Red Bulls on the shelf. Nonetheless, around the rim, in a yellow area reads, "Zero Calorie, 8.4 OZ, Zero Carb, Zero Sugar", as if '8.4 OZ' is something to tout. There's the usual text on the front "Lightly Carbonated, Serve Chilled" and "With Taurine Vitalizes body and mind." The back of the can reads, "Red Bull (all rights reserved) Total Zero", then in Red Bull red, "Improves Performance, especially during times of increased stress or strain, increase s concentration and improves reaction speed, stimulates the metabolism". We don't agree with any of these statements. Phenylketonurics: contains phenylalanine. Of course some mess about not being recommended for knocked up or nursing women, or stupid kids.

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Red Bull Total Zero taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Red Bull Total Zero?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.

Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera

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PriceSize$/OzServsOz/ServCalsCarbsSod
$1.9916.0oz.$0.121.016oz.21350g9mg
Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera review added 2012-04-17 13:06:19
Available at: Hype Sent Samples of Hype Organic Energy


Ratings:
Combined Reviewer Rating: 7.5 out of 10
User Rating: Rate this beverage:
7.80 out of 10 from 10 reviewers


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Jason's Review:


Today we're reviewing a rather effeminate-looking Hype Energy Organic. I know, men can wear pink, and carry around pink cans, but traditionally they don't, or they get picked on and bullied. Believe me, I know, I wore pink to youth group last week.

After opening Hype, the pink began to make more sense. Hype Energy Organic smells like bubble gum. What's more manly than a big wad of pink bubble gum shoved in your mouth on the pitcher's mound? Not only does it rot your teeth with sugary sweetness, it sets you on the road to having parts of your face removed after years of habitual tobacco use, and that's manly.

The delight continued, as Hype Organic also tastes a bit like Dubble Bubble. The taste of aloe vera is more prominent in Hype Organic than in Go Girl Glo, making it taste a bit like suntan lotion. I believe it's also the aloe vera that leaves a strange residue causing a lingering aloe aftertaste.

Of the two Hype Organics I opened, I finished one, and forgot about the other. This could be partially because of the abdominal distention I experienced that day from the previous night's ill-advised Taco Bell run. You tend to set things down and forget about them when you're experiencing extreme bowel duress.

Overall, Hype provides moderate and sustained stay-awake energy, comparable to the other Hype beverages. For taste, I'd prefer any of the previous Hype offerings. If you're looking for aloe vera in an organic drink, well, this is your obvious choice. Otherwise, I'd go for the original Hype.

Jason Energy Rating: 8
Jason Taste Rating: 7
Jason Value Rating: 8

Guest Reviewer: Reviews posted before May 2007 were written by Angie
The Hype Energy Organic can is bright and colorful, like what I'd expect a Mrs. Donkey Kong video game box to look like. I feel like the colors and marketing strategy target women, but I question that strategy on a product with 50g of sugar. I know a lot of women who genuinely believe that the carbohydrate is the devil incarnate. On a product shelf, it could get some attention, but I don't see a lot of dudes walking proudly to the register with Hype Organic, like they might with a NOS or Monster.

The aroma is Hype Organic is very pronounced, and exotic, and somewhat nebulous like a car air freshener. The tastes is sweet at first, but fades into a bland and lingering aftertaste. Like Jason, I assume this is the aloe vera. Having never had a drink with aloe vera, I can't really confirm or deny that's the source, but it's interesting, and to me, not a resounding negative.

This contains some juices, and is rather sweet tasting. If this were frozen and blended, I believe Hype Organic would taste like an expensive tropical drink at an island resort, perhaps mixed with rum.

As for the energy, I was comfortably awake. Hype won't make you jump up and attack senior citizens to work off nervous energy, but it will keep you awake, and I speculate, at least for a short time, protect the insides of your mouth from the sun's harmful UV rays.

Angie Energy Rating: 7
Angie Taste Rating: 8
Angie Value Rating: 7

Active Ingredients:
Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera contains contains 1 (16fl oz/473ml) servings which contains mg/% USRDA (whichever is available, or both, if listed) of the following: Calories 213, Fat less than 0.47g, sodium 9.46mg, carbohydrates 50g, sugars 50g, protein less than 0.47g, vitamin c 71%, niacin 66%, pantothenic acid 43%, vitamin b6 71%, vitamin b12 156%. Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera also contains undisclosed amounts of organic tea extract, organic guarana extract (which contains natural caffeine).

Can Text:
The Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera 16fl. oz. can is mostly green with leaves and pink/metallic lettering. On the front, vertically oriented is the name "Hype", it's in mostly metallic, with pink outline. Also vertically oriented, "Energy" in the same color configuration and "organic", in pink letters that are outlined in white. Also on two of the leaves the text, "source of antioxidants" and "with aloe vera". On the rim of the can, "Organic Energy Drink". Then there's some wavy text in white, outlined in pink on the side of the can that reads, "Organic energy drink with apple juice, aloe vera, tea and guarana extracts." Then underneath, in the same wavy text, something scrawled in a foreign tongue, probably an ancient mode of Elvish, that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.

Other Hype Products

Hype Energy
Hype MFP
Hype Enlite
Hype Energy Shot Marionberry Flavor
Hype Energy Shot MFP Flavor
Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera

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Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera User Comments


amir on 2012-05-15 13:34:54 said:
this is only organic energy drink on the world Response by Jason: False. Guru is 100% Natural and Organic. Go a step further and Adina Natural Highs products are organic and fair trade.

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Disclaimer: The above review is the opinion of the Screaming Energy Drink Reviews editors. Our goal is to help answer questions like, "What does Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera taste like?", "Does it really give you an energy boost?", "Where can I buy Hype Energy Organic with Aloe Vera?", and "How much does it cost?". We are not employed by the makers of this energy drink, and, therefore cannot answer questions about production, distribution, product returns, reimbursements, or quality control. We receive funds from some manufacturers to expedite reviews, and for advertisement only. We do not 'sell' positive reviews. All nuitrition information and ingredients were copied to the best of our ability from the product packaging, do not rely solely on our site for dietary information.

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*As of May 2007, Angie is no longer contributing reviews to Screaming Energy Drink Reviews. Since the guest reviewer does not want to be identified, we've affectionately been referring to them as "The Stig". "The Stig" is the creation of BBC television show 

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